Outlining Parental Rights, Timesharing, and Parenting Plans

On this episode of The Legal Zone, managing attorney Regina Campbell, of The Campbell Law Group, PA, discusses parental rights, timesharing, and parenting plans.

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Transcript

0:05

good afternoon, everyone I’m Regina

0:07

Campbell

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that they need

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so today we're here to talk about

1:00

parental rights time sharing and

1:02

parenting plans

1:04

in most states most states still use

1:06

sort of the terminology custody or

1:08

custodial parent

1:10

custodial non-resident parent here in

1:12

Florida you know even though we do

1:13

understand what those terminologies mean

1:15

we did abandon the use of them

1:16

specifically in statutes some time ago

1:19

so, we basically use the right of

1:20

parental time i mean parental

1:22

responsibility and time-sharing rights

1:23

of the parents

1:25

so, I could be a little confusing and

1:26

those two particular rights are usually

1:28

put in what we call a parenting plan

1:31

so just a little bit of understanding

1:33

about the differences between those

1:34

three words often that is something that

1:36

confuses people

1:37

and it sounds like it's all the same

1:39

thing to some extent

1:41

but there is a division, so you know to

1:42

understand what Florida might mean by

1:44

parental responsibility

1:46

parental responsibility using usually

1:48

means the parties um

1:50

sort of rights to make decisions on

1:51

behalf of their children so

1:53

in most cases you're going to have

1:54

shared parental responsibility even when

1:56

you have one parent potentially

1:58

exercising a significantly less time

2:00

sharing

2:01

sometimes courts however can give sort

2:03

of sole parental

2:04

you know responsibility decision making

2:07

to one parent if they feel the other

2:08

parent is just not capable of doing so

2:10

or it's not in the best interest of the

2:12

child to allow that other parent to do

2:14

so

2:14

the court can also potentially limit

2:18

so for in other words that you might

2:19

have one parent that makes religious

2:21

decisions

2:22

on behalf of the children another makes

2:23

medical it could also be where they

2:25

share other decision-making

2:27

issues but one parent has the right to

2:29

make decisions on behalf

2:31

of the child's religious or medical

2:33

needs

2:34

so you know there's a little bit a

2:36

little bit of uh everything

2:37

for everyone depending on the

2:39

circumstances i find most of the time

2:41

though when

2:42

a parent is given sole parental sort of

2:44

decision making

2:45

it's usually because the other parent is

2:46

either not present or just unfit or not

2:48

able to assist in that it might be

2:50

detrimental to the child

2:52

so something just to keep in mind but

2:54

those are parental decision making

2:56

rights that are often put into a plan

2:58

into the parenting plan

3:00

even if say you know even if they have

3:03

one parent that makes major decisions

3:05

for on behalf of a child

3:07

you also still have the other parent

3:09

usually has the right absence some kind

3:10

of domestic violence circumstances or

3:13

potential harm to the child the both

3:16

children both parents usually have the

3:18

right to go

3:18

see children in shows and particularly

3:20

participate in their activities and

3:22

extracurricular activities that they

3:23

choose

3:24

these are all the type of stuff that you

3:26

would see in a parenting plan

3:27

and you'd probably think to yourself

3:28

Regina why do we need this in a

3:30

parenting plan isn't it just obvious

3:32

well unfortunately not um there are

3:35

times in which parents either

3:37

due to animosity between each other or

3:40

just difficulty

3:41

not happy with someone's girlfriend or

3:43

boyfriend or new girlfriend or boyfriend

3:44

they often will exclude the other parent

3:47

from activities or not tell them of the

3:49

activities sort of um

3:50

to punish them for not being attentive

3:52

or being part of the

3:53

child's daily life and they don't let's

3:55

say hey you know johnny's got a soccer

3:57

game this weekend

3:58

um or you know Annabelle as you know a

4:01

ballet

4:01

uh show this weekend and part of the

4:04

thing is so this

4:05

parenting plans make sure these type of

4:07

rights are

4:08

in a plan and actually enforced through

4:11

a court order they become part of the

4:12

final judgment

4:14

um you know in the decision making as to

4:16

any of these issues between parents

4:18

and that's there for a reason so that

4:19

each parent is usually given usually

4:21

required

4:22

you know to share information with each

4:24

other and it's unfortunately necessary

4:26

sometimes when we have parents that

4:28

either

4:29

do not want to continue to talk or kind

4:32

of co-parent with the other parent and

4:33

sort of a form of punishment

4:35

so parenting plans that have these

4:36

sub-provisions make it obligatory

4:39

you know obliterate to do so in a court

4:41

order

4:42

um and it sets out the parents’ rights of

4:45

the other parents and say well you know

4:46

you need to know about Annabelle’s

4:48

ballet session you know i didn't have to

4:50

tell you

4:51

um ultimately the court most often

4:54

than not and require these separate

4:55

provisions and parenting plans

4:58

to ensure that both parents have the

5:00

ability to participate

5:01

in the children's life and of course

5:03

it's up to the parent to also

5:04

participate as well

5:06

but we don't want to make this more

5:07

difficult most courts agree and i agree

5:09

also

5:10

as a family law attorney children love

5:12

to see both parents sitting in that

5:13

audience

5:14

so you can't make a parent parent so to

5:18

speak but you certainly cannot make you

5:19

don't need to make it more difficult

5:20

either

5:21

you know ultimately it is the children

5:22

that suffer when that happens and

5:24

it's rather unfortunate it does stick

5:26

with them for a long time so courts are

5:28

very protective

5:28

and particularly would prefer to see

5:30

comprehensive parenting plans

5:32

that address these types of issues that

5:34

may exist already most often than not

5:36

in a parenting in a in a paternity suit

5:40

or some type of divorce

5:41

when you're establishing uh time sharing

5:43

rights and frontal responsibility

5:45

you can kind of already see how the

5:47

parents are going to be co-parenting and

5:48

often

5:49

you'll need to put additional provisions

5:51

into a parenting plan to make sure

5:53

that one parent is not put at a

5:55

disadvantage

5:56

you know unfortunately to the detriment

5:58

of not just that parent but to the child

6:00

as well

6:01

so, it's examples of uh parental time you

6:03

know parental responsibility is

6:05

major decision making you know on behalf

6:07

of the children

6:08

but there's also other things that go in

6:10

there into the parental responsibility

6:11

sort of section

6:12

that include requiring you know

6:15

requiring both parents to

6:16

share information about the child's life

6:18

about the child's activities

6:20

between each other it also gives parents

6:22

the rights to be able to look at their

6:23

children's medical records

6:25

absent of course the circumstance in

6:26

which you must limit

6:28

the parents’ rights again in the case of

6:30

abuse or domestic violence

6:32

but for the most part you know parents

6:33

need to make sure that they have right

6:35

particularly fathers

6:36

you know uh that are not may not have

6:38

initially been established the

6:40

you know the child's father ahead of

6:42

time or through formal process they want

6:43

to make sure that their rights to see

6:45

their children's

6:46

educational and medical records are

6:48

preserved in the parenting plan

6:50

in case a third party ever questions

6:52

whether or not that party has the legal

6:54

right to see the information

6:56

so these are all things that help even

6:58

when you don't actually have frontal

6:59

responsibility or decision making let's

7:02

see on medical

7:03

more often than not the parents are

7:04

still allowed to see

7:06

the other parent’s um i mean the

7:07

children's medical records and school

7:09

records absent

7:10

circumstance that would be uh

7:12

detrimental to the children

7:14

so that's pretty much progressive

7:15

responsibility talks about the different

7:17

requirements or obligations between the

7:19

parties which also might include if they

7:22

plan on leaving the state

7:23

uh what kind of notification is required

7:25

what kind of permission

7:26

from the other parent is required in

7:29

addition if you want to leave the

7:30

country

7:31

same thing what kind of written

7:34

permission

7:34

or responsibilities does the other

7:36

parent have and conditions

7:38

in order to be able to take the children

7:40

outside the country

7:41

more often not taking the children off

7:43

out of the country can be

7:45

a very serious issue that some parents

7:47

have to give

7:48

serious thought to particularly if

7:50

they're going to a country where it

7:51

might be hard to get the children back

7:52

in the event there is a

7:56

bargaining chip unfortunately or the

7:57

other parent is sort of uh

7:59

being difficult and potentially may

8:00

kidnap the children so you want to take

8:03

particular consideration to the parts of

8:05

the parenting plan that talk about

8:06

travel outside the country

8:08

if you have if you have concern such as

8:10

that for instance

8:12

it's very difficult right now to you

8:14

know potentially get children back from

8:15

Venezuela

8:16

if they were taken there there's limited

8:18

court access and judicial process

8:21

or due process or protection of 

8:24

of course another

8:24

you know one of the other parties rights

8:26

especially a party that might be in the

8:27

united states or another country

8:29

so it's something you want to give

8:30

considerable thought to and

8:32

keep in mind that even if a judge

8:34

requires you know the party to bring the

8:36

children back

8:37

once the children are another country

8:40

it's a whole new ballgame

8:41

and technically the court's order here

8:44

has no validity so to speak

8:46

uh maybe in Venezuela of course there is

8:49

issues where countries under the Hague

8:50

treaty

8:51

show comedy to each other and you know

8:53

of course they follow the procedures of

8:55

potentially the Hague

8:56

treaty and requirements of sending the

8:59

children back under certain

9:00

circumstances for the

9:02

i guess what they call the home state of

9:03

the child to make a decision as to

9:05

what's going on with custody

9:06

but unfortunately in particularly

9:07

hostile countries or difficult countries

9:09

that are under political upheaval

9:11

this may be a more difficult process and

9:13

this has to be given

9:14

considerable thought when writing out

9:16

your parenting plan if you

9:17

have one of these circumstances so

9:20

another another example one might be

9:22

sort of a parenting plan and it's

9:24

um sort of a cross between the parental

9:26

responsibility concept and the time

9:27

sharing

9:28

is also which parent uh is going to be

9:31

responsible

9:32

uh for making sure the children speak to

9:35

the other parent or

9:36

giving access to the parent to speak to

9:38

the children on a daily basis

9:40

particularly you know depending on if

9:42

that parent doesn't spend much time with

9:43

them or if the other parent travels

9:45

the courts are looking for parents to

9:47

facilitate communication between each

9:49

other

9:49

between their other parent so often we

9:52

will set up a time it depends on the

9:53

circumstances and the age of the child

9:56

or the children you might set up sort of

9:58

a facetime you know call every day with

10:00

mom or dad at 5 30 in the afternoon it

10:03

might be two o'clock in the afternoon it

10:05

might need to be after

10:06

practice you know when they come back at

10:08

seven or eight o'clock

10:10

so it just depends on the circumstances

10:12

every family is unique and of course

10:13

every child's unique

10:14

and every child's schedule is unique so

10:18

um but those are the type of things that

10:19

are in also going to be considered

10:20

parenting plans

10:22

sort of another hybrid and we'll segue

10:24

into what time sharing is

10:25

time sharing is basically indicating how

10:27

much time are you going to spend with

10:28

mom and how much time you're going to

10:29

spend with dad um or a mom and mom right

10:33

or dad and dad depending on your

10:34

circumstances

10:35

so uh basically uh for instance there

10:38

might be a situation where it's going to

10:40

you hear the

10:40

the use 50 50 all the time uh 50 50 time

10:44

sharing so that might be one week with

10:46

one parent one week with the other

10:48

however due consideration has to be

10:50

given to the children their sort of

10:51

temperament

10:52

their personalities their ages what's

10:54

going on in their lives

10:56

some children do not do very well with

10:58

one week on one week off

11:00

um particularly because they're not used

11:02

to maybe spending so much time away from

11:03

the other parent

11:05

one of the parents may live further away

11:07

and not as close to their friends so

11:08

they can have you know potentially see

11:10

their friends

11:11

in between uh sort of you know time

11:14

sharing

11:14

so there's definitely not a one size

11:16

fits all in family law

11:18

uh depending on the on the child and the

11:20

temperament and what they're going

11:21

through in their age

11:22

they may do better with a uh you know

11:25

four

11:25

three you know three four so to speak a

11:28

type of time sharing plan

11:30

which basically means that there might

11:31

be four overnights with mom and then

11:33

three overnights with dad and then you

11:35

flip it

11:35

so to speak now of course there's

11:37

circumstances where it's 80 20.

11:39

so in other words you may have the

11:40

children with one parent 80

11:42

of the overnights specifically in time

11:45

sharing we talk about overnights

11:47

and we calculate the overnights not just

11:50

the day stay so to speak you know the

11:52

time which they spend with the children

11:53

during the day the other parent

11:55

particularly because it's a function of

11:56

child support also so when you go to

11:58

figure out child support

11:59

the guidelines look at overnights

12:01

basically on how much you spend with

12:02

each parent

12:03

so it's one of the reasons why you hear

12:05

me talk about overnights and of course

12:06

overnights are significant

12:08

you have to make sure the children the

12:10

other parent or the person taking the

12:11

children overnight are going to be doing

12:13

their homework giving them a bath and

12:14

making sure the children

12:16

go to bed in time potentially for school

12:18

waking up with the children to go to

12:20

school the following day

12:21

so these are things you want to take

12:22

into consideration when you're talking

12:24

about overnights between each other

12:26

and where the children will do best and

12:27

what is best for the children as well

12:29

some parents for instance might work

12:31

late you know all night they might be

12:32

a nurse that works night chefs so to

12:34

speak so it might be harder for that

12:37

parent to exercise

12:38

more overnights however this is where

12:41

the other parent can also show

12:42

flexibility

12:43

and try to provide adaptation to the

12:46

other parties or the other parents

12:48

schedule

12:50

in order to ensure they can maybe see

12:52

the other parent

12:53

the children can see the other parent as

12:54

much as possible or whatever that might

12:56

be in the best interests of the child

12:59

or the children remember most of the

13:00

time children even though we may have

13:02

difficulties and there's a lot of

13:03

um difficult you know legal arguments

13:07

and potentially game playing

13:08

unfortunately

13:09

the reality is sometimes going on with

13:10

uh time-sharing plans

13:12

the children do not know the difference

13:14

often they want to see both parents or

13:16

they want to have both parents in their

13:17

lives

13:18

now that doesn't mean that you do you

13:20

bend and twist

13:21

to allow the other parent to see the

13:23

child you know at their whim or when

13:26

they feel like it or when it's

13:26

convenient because that's also not a

13:28

parent that's

13:28

you know potentially is going to be a

13:30

stable influence in the children's life

13:32

or allow stability for the children

13:34

but you must there's a difference

13:35

between being flexible and sort of

13:37

completely

13:38

uh you know given in to whatever that

13:40

other person needs which is also not an

13:42

optimal

13:43

time sharing plan or way to raise

13:45

children either

13:47

so these are things you need to consider

13:48

what goes on in children's lives and

13:50

in parents lives and try to be as

13:52

flexible as you can for the children

13:54

that does not mean that you are required

13:56

to

13:58

bend over backwards and let the other

13:59

party potentially play games with you

14:00

and your schedule and children as they

14:02

harass you basically

14:03

through the use of time sharing and I’m

14:06

saying this to you very frankly because

14:07

we all know this actually happens

14:09

and i employ parents to on both sides

14:12

you know to take the children out of the

14:14

middle consider potentially what's best

14:16

for them

14:17

and do what needs to be done you know no

14:20

longer if you

14:21

your husband are no longer together or

14:23

you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are

14:25

longer together and you had to separate

14:26

and you have a child

14:27

uh you know this the child does not need

14:30

to be stuck in the middle and

14:31

something needs to be taken into

14:32

consideration and not you certainly not

14:33

uses a pawn or a bargaining ship either

14:36

so time sharing also can include for

14:38

instance which parent is going to take

14:40

you know which parent is going to do the

14:41

pickup which is going to do the drop off

14:43

you know you might

14:44

agree that the parent always exercising

14:46

their time sharing is going to do the

14:48

pickup

14:48

you know you might do it the other way

14:50

the we know the party exercising time

14:53

sharing or potentially ending their time

14:55

sharing is going to drop off the

14:56

children at the other parents house

14:58

in time sharing so in the parenting plan

15:00

also you'll discuss which is sort of

15:02

part of time sharing

15:03

is also who is going to take the

15:05

children to extracurricular activities

15:07

so if you have the child that afternoon

15:09

or the children that afternoon

15:10

you might be obligated to make sure the

15:12

children get to their extracurricular

15:13

activity that day or

15:15

some kind of school event they do their

15:16

homework they do the bathing

15:18

these are the type of things that we

15:19

often will put into parenting plans

15:22

and as part of time sharing and slash

15:24

parental responsibility when it comes

15:26

to homework and bathing to ensure that

15:28

the other party is doing

15:29

creating a stable environment for the

15:31

children fairly consistent

15:33

now of course courts often you know i

15:34

have a parent that might think well you

15:36

know

15:36

i'm a little more hands-off i let the

15:38

children sort of

15:40

have less structure the other parent

15:42

might have

15:43

insist on more structure now i can't

15:45

tell you one is better than the other it

15:47

really also depends on the child

15:49

most often structure seems to work

15:51

better with children however i've seen

15:52

many children also thrive

15:54

depending on the personality of the

15:55

child the children uh thrive on a less

15:57

structured sort of schedules

15:59

particularly depending on what they're

16:00

going through life remember their the

16:01

children are also going through a lot of

16:02

transitions but especially this is

16:04

something new

16:05

uh you know whether it's a paternity

16:06

proceeding or a divorce

16:08

so i can't tell you which is right what

16:10

i can tell you is the best thing for the

16:11

children is that you both communicate

16:13

and you try to have a

16:14

similar lifestyle and schedule at each

16:16

other's houses

16:17

now i do think it's important to stress

16:19

that maybe one parent

16:21

does things a little different than the

16:22

other parents need to be very very

16:24

careful and this is often

16:25

actually considered to prov be put in a

16:27

provision for parenting plan because

16:29

some parents do not do this

16:30

but they need to encourage well that's

16:32

mom and that's okay mom's got her way of

16:33

doing it and that's fine

16:35

dad does it this way but in a very

16:38

productive way because if not what

16:40

you're doing is you're potentially

16:42

sort of demeaning or degrading how that

16:45

other parent does it

16:46

or how they do it wrong or that other

16:47

parent may be ridiculous when you be

16:49

very careful with the words that we

16:50

choose

16:51

basically um so you know with children

16:55

it's okay for your different the best

16:56

thing is to have a schedule

16:58

a similar to each other as much as you

17:00

possibly can and sort of co-parent

17:02

together and try to have a unified

17:04

front and all your communications but of

17:06

course there's going to be differences

17:07

particularly when there's

17:09

differences in the styles and the

17:10

personalities of the parents but that

17:12

doesn't have to be a bad thing

17:13

you know the other parents should always

17:14

encourage the children to take

17:17

what's great you know hey mom

17:19

does it that way look it works good this

17:20

way for this reason

17:22

dad can't do it for the you know the way

17:23

mom does it because he likes it this way

17:25

and he has a different job

17:26

and he feels this you know this is the

17:28

way that we like it or whether we at the

17:30

table

17:30

encourage that neither parent is

17:32

right or wrong so I mean wrong so to

17:34

speak

17:34

you know that everyone has their own way

17:36

of doing things so the children do not

17:37

feel like they have to pick

17:39

between the parents style or between the

17:40

parent so

17:42

these are just some tips hopefully to

17:43

help you kind of create ultimately what

17:45

is a parenting plan

17:47

because the parenting plan will contain

17:48

all the rights between the

17:50

parties and the children

17:51

and what you've agreed to do and not do

17:53

other type of provisions that may be in

17:55

parenting plans may also be that each

17:57

party

17:57

is not going to introduce the children

17:59

to a significant other

18:01

so for instance they've been at least

18:02

dating a significant other for six

18:03

months or for a year

18:05

um other type of provisions may also be

18:08

that if the parents cannot agree

18:09

to a certain vacation spot they'll go to

18:12

a co-parenting therapist first

18:14

or potentially mediation before bringing

18:16

the case you know

18:17

before the court for a modification or

18:19

for permission

18:20

so there's a lot of there's I’ve seen

18:22

pretty much a little bit of everything

18:23

I’ve seen parents that travel a lot

18:24

where the children are going to Europe

18:26

for three months to spend time with

18:27

their father

18:28

and of course there has to be special

18:29

provisions for sort of traveling how the

18:31

children get there who

18:33

covers those costs that's also

18:35

particularly so with

18:36

parents that might one parent father

18:38

lives let's say for instance in texas my

18:40

mother lives in florida

18:42

due consideration has to be given

18:43

flexibility to when that parent can see

18:45

the children often that parent will have

18:47

more of a right to see them during

18:48

holidays and summer visits

18:50

so these are the type of schedules that

18:51

are sort of like a it's a relocation

18:53

type schedule or you know a distance

18:55

sort of schedule a time sharing plan

18:57

that needs to be put together

18:58

parenting plan and discussions now even

19:00

if a parent lives

19:02

far away it doesn't mean they can't

19:03

actually partake in parental decision

19:04

making with the other parent

19:06

uh so these are you know just things

19:08

that like i said it's never a one size

19:09

fits all on family law

19:11

okay every family is unique uh every

19:14

family needs to do consideration and

19:16

understanding so these are the things

19:18

that we want you to take from today

19:19

and of course um you know time and time

19:23

and conversation needs to be spent into

19:24

developing these parenting plans

19:26

between the parties whether it's between

19:27

attorneys or between the parents

19:29

themselves which is always preferable if

19:31

the parents can talk

19:32

because ultimately when the attorney's

19:33

no longer there and the judge is not

19:35

there anymore

19:36

the parents are still going to be able

19:37

to talk between each other and help

19:39

raise

19:39

their child or their children together

19:42

so hopefully this helps

19:43

sort of steer the you know the parents

19:45

into a more healthy sort of transition

19:46

and planning

19:48

that works for everybody so we hope this

19:50

has been helpful

19:51

you know and uh we wish everyone you

19:54

know well this is actually um

19:56

you know summer's almost over enjoy it

19:58

before it's gone

20:00

enjoy the children squeeze them squish

20:02

them kiss them

20:03

whatever you need to do a little bit

20:04

more school school's getting started

20:05

again which i know some people are also

20:07

looking forward to school this has been

20:08

a very tough year

20:09

but enjoy the summer it's not over yet

20:12

and also we want to wish everyone you

20:14

know a happy summer i don't know if

20:16

we'll be doing the next podcast i

20:18

believe either the end of august

20:20

or september please stay tuned for any

20:22

notification on your new podcast uh we

20:24

welcome you to come

20:25

see us whether it's live or come see the

20:27

recording afterwards

20:28

uh basically become a subscriber of our

20:30

apple podcast channel

20:32

i guess we call that our site also our

20:35

youtube channel

20:36

and you can also hear us on sprout uh

20:38

finally we ask that you

20:40

may become a subscriber to our

20:41

newsletter and or follow us on all

20:43

social media

20:44

sites in which case we release our blogs

20:46

and our posts and our podcasts there as

20:48

well

20:48

where you can reach valuable information

20:50

as well it's a pleasure thank you

20:52

everybody

20:52

take care