0:11
hi I’m Regina Campbell and welcome back
0:13
to the legal zone
0:15
thank you everyone for watching our
0:16
prior podcast and today we're here to
0:18
talk about uh we're gonna do episode six
0:21
of season one and we're gonna talk money
0:23
talks how to talk to your partner your
0:25
spouse your partner and your children uh
0:27
this is actually a very important topic
0:29
not just of course from a business point
0:31
of view you can also have these
0:32
conversations but normally the children
0:34
are not involved in them this is really
0:35
more geared towards how a family should
0:38
talk about money
0:39
what is normal for you know discussions
0:41
between spouses and possibly partners
0:44
right if you're not married
0:46
and also of course how do you talk to
0:47
the children about money and what do not
0:49
talk to the children about because in
0:51
many occasions you do not want to
0:53
involve the children in discussions of
0:55
money particularly that are
0:56
adult-related that might even be related
0:58
to maternity case child support or
1:02
anything of that nature of who pays for
1:03
this and who pays for
1:05
that that becomes an issue that you put
1:07
the child in an awkward spot
1:09
so whereas I want to encourage everyone
1:11
and we'll talk a little bit more on the
1:13
podcast children should be involved in
1:15
the conversation of money so that they
1:17
understand the value of money so they
1:19
have maybe allowances and clear-cut
1:21
sort of um you know ideas about money
1:23
but that are healthy
1:25
not adult type conversations so this is
1:28
why I kind of included the children and
1:29
it should be something that both parties
1:31
talk about both parents talk about how
1:33
they should
1:35
formulate and style sort of that
1:37
conversation with the child or your
1:39
children about money healthy
1:41
conversations teaching them how to save
1:43
it encouraging them to work maybe for an
1:45
allowance
1:46
uh each party should also make sure that
1:48
they are sort of enforcing the rules or
1:51
sort of the um
1:53
the allowance earning you know ability
1:55
so to speak at each party's house and of
1:57
course the number one rule of children
1:59
is never speak bad about the other party
2:01
okay uh very important to always
2:03
encourage you know uh you know mom
2:05
thinks this and mom thinks that and mom
2:07
says this that's wonderful honey mom's
2:09
got a great idea
2:11
same thing with dad there should not be
2:13
any conversations in general about how i
2:16
make the money and you don't make any
2:17
money no one should ever be belittled in
2:19
these type of conversations with the
2:21
child and honestly not even between each
2:23
other
2:24
everybody contributes something to a
2:25
marriage or to a partnership or
2:27
relationship
2:28
so it's very important to talk about
2:29
that
2:30
and that's a little bit about the
2:32
children how to talk to children about
2:34
money we're going to talk a little bit
2:35
about the importance right now about how
2:36
to talk money so to speak with your
2:39
partner or your spouse
2:40
often you find a dynamic in between
2:43
couples that you split
2:45
basically you know there might be one
2:47
party that makes more money and the
2:48
other party is more of a homemaker
2:51
which often the homemaker doesn't have
2:53
as much experience or information
2:55
regarding the finances of the parties of
2:58
the husband of the household in general
3:01
and i think you know even if that split
3:03
of the dynamic remains i mean let's say
3:05
one party is just better at handling the
3:07
money or making sure the bills get paid
3:09
um you know
3:11
that's okay but i do think it's a
3:13
healthy discussion for partners and
3:15
spouses to be able to speak to money you
3:17
know speak about money with each other
3:19
it should not be a taboo it should not
3:21
be something that's not transparent
3:24
unless that is a hallmark of your
3:25
relationship and everyone keeps
3:26
everything separate in which case that
3:28
is what you do and that's okay too
3:31
my biggest concern is
3:33
parties and spouses not on partners not
3:35
understanding
3:37
you know who pays for this who pays for
3:38
that potentially there becomes animosity
3:41
and misunderstanding about where the
3:43
money is going there's decisions being
3:44
made by the person spending the money or
3:46
potentially wanting to save it these are
3:48
things that are very important
3:49
communications between the
3:51
spouses and parties and it helps
3:52
alleviate potential tension and issues
3:55
later down the road when you discuss how
3:58
the family money should be spent or
3:59
saved for that matter remember this is
4:01
not just about being spending money it's
4:03
also about saving money and making
4:05
specific decisions to make a plan short
4:08
term plan
4:09
middle midterm plan and a long term plan
4:12
you know with money and trying to follow
4:14
it and it keeps sort of everyone on
4:15
track
4:16
it also may help the family feel more
4:18
like a dynamic the party making uh the
4:20
money even if it's one or both of you
4:22
might feel more appreciated that the
4:24
money is just not spent as if it's not
4:27
understood how hard it was to make it
4:29
um you can make decisions okay honey I’m
4:31
going to eat lunch let's eat lunch
4:33
Monday Thursday Monday Wednesday and
4:35
Friday friends sunset
4:37
you know from home let's not order in
4:39
that little bit of money we can save
4:40
over here everyone then is involved in
4:43
the conversation so to speak both
4:44
spouses about how they're going to deal
4:46
with money and it alleviates honestly a
4:49
lot of tensions and potentially
4:50
overspending on many occasions which
4:52
leads to a lot of stress and families
4:54
and relationships when you don't know
4:56
how to manage that money or where it's
4:57
going or one party's putting more stress
4:59
on the other because a lot of times you
5:01
have different styles or perceptions of
5:02
money particularly that come from when
5:04
you were raised depending on what you've
5:06
seen
5:07
so and it can lead and you know there
5:09
are some of us so to speak that have a
5:11
shopping addiction you know
5:14
uh that could cause actual problems
5:16
right because it could just lead to
5:17
significant uh burden on debt
5:20
and sort of the family resources and it
5:22
requires them people to work you know
5:24
one of the parties or both the parties
5:25
to work more
5:27
okay so these are people don't usually
5:29
think about it money in this manner
5:30
especially between each other but these
5:32
are choices that we make to some extent
5:35
on how to structure household and talk
5:36
to each other okay and how to run it so
5:39
i think it's very important from the
5:40
beginning where you kind of just start
5:43
having frank conversations
5:45
if you are going to have separate
5:46
accounts be very clear honey I’m gonna
5:48
have this account with my mother
5:51
she funds it this is for me you know
5:53
this is for these type of expenses
5:55
um or I’m going to keep this money
5:57
separately because you have your own
5:58
separate savings account this is kind of
6:00
the way that I was taught but at least
6:01
there's not an issue of who's hiding
6:03
what okay now I do know I mean I’m I’m a
6:06
family law attorney uh do I know that
6:09
people do this intentionally to hide
6:10
money potential for divorce purposes or
6:13
for sort of planning purposes of course
6:15
i do um
6:16
but therein lies the other problem if
6:19
you're having those type of discussions
6:21
or issues happening with money and you
6:23
have the hiding and the divorce planning
6:25
or potential even if they're not
6:26
planning on getting divorced but they
6:28
want to make sure that the other spouse
6:30
or that spouse if you ever get a divorce
6:32
one day your the other spouse is going
6:34
to be left on the street or can't find
6:36
the money that is something that the
6:38
other spouse needs to be very keenly
6:40
aware of
6:41
that means that there's a control factor
6:43
going on there and there's something
6:44
that you should be looking at to make
6:46
sure okay he's putting this money or
6:48
she's putting this money away I’m not
6:50
going to have access to this
6:51
is this really truly a partnership in
6:53
that manner are you having these
6:55
difficulties in the marriage where
6:57
you're showing signs of potential he
6:59
could break apart or distrust it also
7:02
could be an indication where you need to
7:03
go to therapy and potentially work them
7:05
out
7:06
if you have a different dynamic going on
7:08
it looks like someone's waiting to sort
7:10
of leave which is unfortunate but it
7:12
does happen it's important to actually
7:14
know what kind of money the other person
7:16
makes
7:17
what bills there are
7:18
what needs to be paid how much money you
7:20
need to survive if something should
7:21
happen
7:22
and often people just think of divorce
7:24
but people you know i know a lot of
7:26
families that they are happily married
7:28
and one of them dies
7:30
and the other spouse has no idea where
7:32
the money is how to pay bills what you
7:34
know what it costs to live what kind of
7:36
money they're going to need in the
7:37
future what the children may need so
7:40
money overall is a really important
7:43
topic and very important to maybe even
7:44
talk to financial advisors with talk to
7:46
your accountant with it's something to
7:48
be actively managed and discussed in a
7:50
family
7:51
so this is more of rather than a
7:53
specific with divorce or family law and
7:55
what to do there is some elements of
7:56
that that have concerns that i think
7:58
someone should be aware of however this
8:00
is really more about the importance of
8:02
money in a family unit whether it's a
8:04
partnership or spouses and of course
8:07
with children remember whatever you do
8:08
as parents the children are going to
8:11
learn they're going to absorb from it so
8:12
it's very important to have these sort
8:14
of
8:15
basic foundational questions that will
8:16
live with your children very young
8:19
and of course you need to set that model
8:21
you need to set that example for your
8:23
children and for each other i think it
8:25
will alleviate quite a bit of tension
8:27
it's usually what i see here
8:28
particularly with family and divorce uh
8:31
paternity with paternity or it's divorce
8:33
cases
8:34
often a lot of the stresses
8:36
come from money
8:38
from who spends money who needs what
8:39
money whether something is really
8:40
necessary not necessary expectations are
8:43
high so in of itself it might even be if
8:46
you're able to get that topic under
8:48
control it might even be able to save
8:49
your marriage or your family union unit
8:51
if you're not married
8:53
and if and if it's not if there's other
8:55
tensions other issues that are leading
8:56
to this difficulty well at least you
8:58
have some understanding or
8:59
responsiveness responsibility to
9:00
understand what expect what's expected
9:02
if you do end up in a divorce or in
9:04
death that way you can plan potentially
9:06
life insurance and other alternatives in
9:09
state and state planning and so forth so
9:11
again it's really important uh you know
9:13
to have these conversations they're
9:14
healthy i know that sometimes they're
9:16
taboo
9:17
there's potential control factors which
9:19
you need to also consider too if there's
9:21
a
9:22
kind of a you know it's a sign also if
9:24
there's severe control factors with
9:26
money that
9:27
there may be an abusive relationship
9:29
dynamic going on as well you may want to
9:31
kind of look at that uh you know
9:33
sort of wholeheartedly and honestly with
9:36
yourself to see what can be done and
9:38
maybe talk to someone about it but in
9:40
general as you can see money is the over
9:42
lining topic over many different issues
9:44
within a family unit so i thought it was
9:46
very important to have this discussion
9:48
hopefully it's been very helpful if we
9:49
have any particular questions you know
9:50
let me know um you know I’d love to have
9:53
a podcast about something specific if
9:54
someone wants to say something or want
9:56
some
9:57
specific question answered
9:58
and i want to thank everyone for
9:59
continuing to tune in hopefully this has
10:01
been helpful
10:03
please follow us on our social media
10:04
accounts and by the way we're just new
10:06
to tick tock i hope you enjoy the videos
10:08
we're having a little bit of fun with
10:09
that
10:10
also become a subscriber to our podcast
10:12
would greatly appreciate it and stay
10:14
tuned for our newest podcast the
10:16
Campbell corner that's going to talk to
10:18
prominent figures uh business family
10:21
professionals and so forth about
10:24
their dealings with the law but and in
10:26
law and also about their favorite sort
10:29
of charities and what they do in general
10:31
and what's important to them
10:32
hope you're going to enjoy it that's
10:33
called the Campbell corner you'll see it
10:34
soon thank you
