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hi I’m Regina Campbell and welcome back
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to the legal zone
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thank you everyone for watching our
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prior podcast and today we're here to
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talk about uh we're gonna do episode six
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of season one and we're gonna talk money
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talks how to talk to your partner your
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spouse your partner and your children uh
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this is actually a very important topic
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not just of course from a business point
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of view you can also have these
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conversations but normally the children
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are not involved in them this is really
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more geared towards how a family should
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talk about money
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what is normal for you know discussions
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between spouses and possibly partners
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right if you're not married
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and also of course how do you talk to
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the children about money and what do not
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talk to the children about because in
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many occasions you do not want to
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involve the children in discussions of
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money particularly that are
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adult-related that might even be related
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to maternity case child support or
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anything of that nature of who pays for
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this and who pays for
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that that becomes an issue that you put
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the child in an awkward spot
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so whereas I want to encourage everyone
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and we'll talk a little bit more on the
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podcast children should be involved in
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the conversation of money so that they
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understand the value of money so they
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have maybe allowances and clear-cut
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sort of um you know ideas about money
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but that are healthy
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not adult type conversations so this is
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why I kind of included the children and
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it should be something that both parties
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talk about both parents talk about how
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they should
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formulate and style sort of that
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conversation with the child or your
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children about money healthy
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conversations teaching them how to save
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it encouraging them to work maybe for an
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allowance
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uh each party should also make sure that
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they are sort of enforcing the rules or
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sort of the um
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the allowance earning you know ability
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so to speak at each party's house and of
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course the number one rule of children
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is never speak bad about the other party
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okay uh very important to always
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encourage you know uh you know mom
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thinks this and mom thinks that and mom
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says this that's wonderful honey mom's
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got a great idea
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same thing with dad there should not be
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any conversations in general about how i
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make the money and you don't make any
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money no one should ever be belittled in
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these type of conversations with the
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child and honestly not even between each
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other
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everybody contributes something to a
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marriage or to a partnership or
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relationship
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so it's very important to talk about
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that
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and that's a little bit about the
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children how to talk to children about
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money we're going to talk a little bit
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about the importance right now about how
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to talk money so to speak with your
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partner or your spouse
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often you find a dynamic in between
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couples that you split
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basically you know there might be one
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party that makes more money and the
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other party is more of a homemaker
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which often the homemaker doesn't have
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as much experience or information
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regarding the finances of the parties of
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the husband of the household in general
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and i think you know even if that split
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of the dynamic remains i mean let's say
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one party is just better at handling the
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money or making sure the bills get paid
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um you know
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that's okay but i do think it's a
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healthy discussion for partners and
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spouses to be able to speak to money you
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know speak about money with each other
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it should not be a taboo it should not
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be something that's not transparent
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unless that is a hallmark of your
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relationship and everyone keeps
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everything separate in which case that
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is what you do and that's okay too
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my biggest concern is
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parties and spouses not on partners not
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understanding
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you know who pays for this who pays for
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that potentially there becomes animosity
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and misunderstanding about where the
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money is going there's decisions being
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made by the person spending the money or
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potentially wanting to save it these are
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things that are very important
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communications between the
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spouses and parties and it helps
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alleviate potential tension and issues
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later down the road when you discuss how
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the family money should be spent or
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saved for that matter remember this is
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not just about being spending money it's
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also about saving money and making
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specific decisions to make a plan short
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term plan
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middle midterm plan and a long term plan
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you know with money and trying to follow
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it and it keeps sort of everyone on
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track
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it also may help the family feel more
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like a dynamic the party making uh the
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money even if it's one or both of you
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might feel more appreciated that the
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money is just not spent as if it's not
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understood how hard it was to make it
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um you can make decisions okay honey I’m
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going to eat lunch let's eat lunch
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Monday Thursday Monday Wednesday and
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Friday friends sunset
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you know from home let's not order in
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that little bit of money we can save
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over here everyone then is involved in
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the conversation so to speak both
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spouses about how they're going to deal
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with money and it alleviates honestly a
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lot of tensions and potentially
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overspending on many occasions which
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leads to a lot of stress and families
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and relationships when you don't know
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how to manage that money or where it's
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going or one party's putting more stress
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on the other because a lot of times you
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have different styles or perceptions of
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money particularly that come from when
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you were raised depending on what you've
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seen
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so and it can lead and you know there
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are some of us so to speak that have a
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shopping addiction you know
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uh that could cause actual problems
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right because it could just lead to
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significant uh burden on debt
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and sort of the family resources and it
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requires them people to work you know
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one of the parties or both the parties
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to work more
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okay so these are people don't usually
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think about it money in this manner
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especially between each other but these
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are choices that we make to some extent
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on how to structure household and talk
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to each other okay and how to run it so
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i think it's very important from the
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beginning where you kind of just start
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having frank conversations
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if you are going to have separate
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accounts be very clear honey I’m gonna
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have this account with my mother
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she funds it this is for me you know
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this is for these type of expenses
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um or I’m going to keep this money
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separately because you have your own
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separate savings account this is kind of
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the way that I was taught but at least
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there's not an issue of who's hiding
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what okay now I do know I mean I’m I’m a
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family law attorney uh do I know that
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people do this intentionally to hide
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money potential for divorce purposes or
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for sort of planning purposes of course
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i do um
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but therein lies the other problem if
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you're having those type of discussions
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or issues happening with money and you
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have the hiding and the divorce planning
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or potential even if they're not
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planning on getting divorced but they
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want to make sure that the other spouse
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or that spouse if you ever get a divorce
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one day your the other spouse is going
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to be left on the street or can't find
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the money that is something that the
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other spouse needs to be very keenly
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aware of
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that means that there's a control factor
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going on there and there's something
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that you should be looking at to make
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sure okay he's putting this money or
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she's putting this money away I’m not
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going to have access to this
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is this really truly a partnership in
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that manner are you having these
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difficulties in the marriage where
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you're showing signs of potential he
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could break apart or distrust it also
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could be an indication where you need to
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go to therapy and potentially work them
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out
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if you have a different dynamic going on
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it looks like someone's waiting to sort
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of leave which is unfortunate but it
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does happen it's important to actually
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know what kind of money the other person
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makes
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what bills there are
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what needs to be paid how much money you
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need to survive if something should
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happen
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and often people just think of divorce
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but people you know i know a lot of
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families that they are happily married
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and one of them dies
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and the other spouse has no idea where
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the money is how to pay bills what you
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know what it costs to live what kind of
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money they're going to need in the
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future what the children may need so
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money overall is a really important
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topic and very important to maybe even
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talk to financial advisors with talk to
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your accountant with it's something to
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be actively managed and discussed in a
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family
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so this is more of rather than a
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specific with divorce or family law and
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what to do there is some elements of
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that that have concerns that i think
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someone should be aware of however this
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is really more about the importance of
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money in a family unit whether it's a
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partnership or spouses and of course
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with children remember whatever you do
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as parents the children are going to
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learn they're going to absorb from it so
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it's very important to have these sort
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of
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basic foundational questions that will
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live with your children very young
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and of course you need to set that model
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you need to set that example for your
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children and for each other i think it
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will alleviate quite a bit of tension
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it's usually what i see here
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particularly with family and divorce uh
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paternity with paternity or it's divorce
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cases
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often a lot of the stresses
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come from money
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from who spends money who needs what
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money whether something is really
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necessary not necessary expectations are
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high so in of itself it might even be if
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you're able to get that topic under
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control it might even be able to save
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your marriage or your family union unit
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if you're not married
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and if and if it's not if there's other
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tensions other issues that are leading
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to this difficulty well at least you
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have some understanding or
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responsiveness responsibility to
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understand what expect what's expected
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if you do end up in a divorce or in
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death that way you can plan potentially
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life insurance and other alternatives in
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state and state planning and so forth so
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again it's really important uh you know
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to have these conversations they're
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healthy i know that sometimes they're
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taboo
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there's potential control factors which
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you need to also consider too if there's
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a
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kind of a you know it's a sign also if
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there's severe control factors with
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money that
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there may be an abusive relationship
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dynamic going on as well you may want to
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kind of look at that uh you know
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sort of wholeheartedly and honestly with
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yourself to see what can be done and
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maybe talk to someone about it but in
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general as you can see money is the over
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lining topic over many different issues
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within a family unit so i thought it was
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very important to have this discussion
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hopefully it's been very helpful if we
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have any particular questions you know
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let me know um you know I’d love to have
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a podcast about something specific if
9:54
someone wants to say something or want
9:56
some
9:57
specific question answered
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and i want to thank everyone for
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continuing to tune in hopefully this has
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been helpful
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